Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My name is Miles and I am a meat head
DISCLAIMER!!!!! In no way shape or form do I consider myself a journalist so please excuse any misspellings or grammar errors. I mean come on i am just a dumb jock cut me some slack.
Jiu Jitsu is life. At least for me anyways. It has changed my life physically, mentally, and egoistically. I came from a meat head background, my resume includes power lifting, football, and Pro Wrestling (on the trampoline mostly). I thought meeting force with force was the only way to solve any problem. If there was lineman in front of me I would bull rush him, and let nature decide who was stronger. If there was an obstacle in my way while I was walking I would crush it with my hulk strength. And if there was another guy at the bar bigger than me, I would go outside and do push ups to get that Arnold like pump going. (okay not really but you get the point). It wasn't till I discovered jiu jitsu that life became a lot easier for me.
My first experience with jiu jitsu was a reality check for me. My little brother Joe was doing jiu jitsu at West Side. This place is cozy, I compare it to cheers because everybody knows everybody there. Mark Johnson (who is the owner) is a huge guy, I mean even with my meat head mentality at the time, I still wouldn't mess with this guy. He had a Grizzly Adams beard, and dread locks that reminded me of Eddie Gordo off Tekkan He is the epitome of a man and nicest guy you will ever meet. So... being the meat head I am I quickly size up the place, and minus Mark I am the biggest dude there. Mark invites me to join in on the session, I eagerly oblige, and let the fun begin. (I am going to steal from Quentin Tarantino and start from the end :) it adds more drama this way.)
TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!!!!!!! I am completely out of breath. I lay there defeated, but how could this be? I am 280 pounds of pure rage, and muscle, and this skinny blond hair kid just wiped the floor with me. (The skinny blond hair kid I speak of is Grayson Greener, looking at this kid you would think "what a wuss!!!" but he has some of the most technical jiu jitsu in the area.) The whole time I tried to maul Grayson, by using my weight lifting techniques, but none of it worked, he just tied me up like a pretzel and eventually arm bared me.
My ego was crushed!! So much for being a tommy tough guy. I wish had a montage of how West Side has changed me, because I am completely different person from two years ago. People always ask why I like it so much, and how I can wrestle with a bunch of guys all the time. To me its so simple and clear that I get frustrated that they can't see it. Its an art. I love to watch guys roll because I see art being created. I think that is why I love jiu jitsu so much. I have always had a craving to be an artist. Mostly I just wanted to draw cool shit like comic book characters. I took a few art classes in college and realized I suck at this, and no matter how much I practise I will never be good at it. Jiu jitsu fills that void for me, because although I am far from good, I do enjoy trying to paint a canvas every time I roll. Most importantly though it has taught me not to take everything in life head on like I used to. When life takes you down, put in your butterfly guard and sweep it. When you go for an arm bar from guard and can't get it, switch to an omoplata. This is why I appreciate Jiu jitsu so much, because no matter what kind of situation I am in, I always no there is a counter and an escape to it. Always!
So in conclusion I have created a test to see if you are a meat head and need to try jiu jitsu to enrich your life. These are simple yes or no questions, and don't cheat because you will only hurt yourself, and possibly go to hell depending on what religion you believe in.
1. Do you wear sleeveless underarmer to the gym?
2. When you fight do you get in to a pushing contest waiting for someone to break it up?
3. Do you wear super tight shirts and play stupid when women ask if you work out?
4. Does your diet consist of mostly protein bars or shakes?
5. Do you lift weights before going out on a Friday night to make you appear bigger than you are?
6. Do you look at yourself every time you pass a mirror?
7. Do you always look for smaller guys to intimidate?
8. When you lift do you lift as much as you can for 2-3 reps and admire your work in the mirror?
9. Do you freak out when missing a weight lifting session?
10. is Arnold Schwarzenegger your idol?
If you answered yes to any of these, than congratulations you are a meat head. To cure this disease I suggest jiu jitsu, because no matter how big you are, bones and egos break.
Thank you and good night!