THANK YOU FOR MOLDING MY FRAGILE LITTLE MIND

I am having some what of a writers block. So I have decided just to acknowledge the people who have created a huge influence in my life whether in Jiu Jitsu, cognitive thinking, ethical practises or just some good ole advise given to me. If you were left out of this list and wish to be on it, please submit an essay professing so.
The top 10 people who have influenced my life.

10. Saulo Ribeiro - This guy is bad with a capitol A. He has won more medals in the mundials then anybody else in history, and the more I read of his philosophy on Jiu Jitsu and life, the more I like him. Recommended reading [Jiu Jitsu University] it is a must have.

9. SSGT Dejuan Roberts - Dejuan was my section Chief in the Army. He was like a big brother to me, we taught me to always look on the bright side of things no matter how dark they get. We were on funeral duty once and our van broke down, I wanted to give in and not try to get there. Dejuan exhausted every option we had, we ended up hitch hiking 30 miles to the cemetery in Full Class A uniform. Can you imagine Army hitch hikers. lol Huge life lesson that weekend.

8. Cornell West - I was introduced to Dr. West in college in a political science class. His book Demoracy matters was a huge influence on my political views. Although I am not extreme left like Dr. West, I tend to look at the whole picture and why it is so important to be involved with local and national govt. Recommended reading [Democracy Matters]

7. Jeff Gifford - The Giff!! Jeff was my old supervisor when I was in the car biz. He was the epitome of a car salesman right down to his slicked back hair. Jeff is the wisest man I know, always gave me good advise on life and work. Jeff taught me the essentials of Governing Dynamics. Do what is best for you, and what is best for the group, that way everyone wins. Plus he taught me a butt load on body language, he piratically made me a human lie detector. Which kind of sucks, you know the old saying ignorance is bliss.

6. Grandpa West - I owe my hobbies and one my passions in life to my Grandpa West. He taught me how to fly fish when I moved back from New York. His love for the sport taught me how to appreciate nature and take in the beauty of this world. Even though I never fished with him on the river, he is with me all the time telling me not to flex my wrist so much.

5. 2nd Section Bravo 3/6 FA - Champ, Earl, Uncle Steve, Sgt Deeznuts. These guys define true friends. Even to this day I talk to them and it has been 5 years since Afghanistan. It is nice to know that you have backup when ever you need it. They taught me family can form out of sweat and blood, and a few hundred sandbags, and pound cakes.

4. The West Side Crew - Not only did these guys teach my Jiu Jitsu which changed my life, but they also taught me that you should be afraid of the guy who is smiling and acting calm in adversity instead of the guy jumping around saying how bad you are going to kick someones ass. This is no joke I am deathly afraid of skinny guys that have cauliflower ear now.

3. The Vega's - Tim and Crystal are family to me, and they give me hope that marriage can work between two couples. Tim has taught me what hard work and dedication can do for you, and crystal has taught me what a little hills action can do for you. No but on a serious note crystal I love that you give to me straight, and are not afraid of calling me a d bag or calling me out on eating whole boxes of oreos. Thanks.

1 & 2. My wonder full two family's with out them I wouldn't exist. So thanks guys for making me possible, and being there for me, and feeding me, changing my diapers, making me shower when I was younger, kicking my ass when it needed to be kicked. Making me wear horrific clothes to humble me, and having a curfew at 11:00 when I was 18 (God knows what I would have done) Thanks for everything I love you guys

Okay I promise that is the last of the lovey dovey stuff from now on, next blog will have blood, guts, and naked woman. HELL YA!

1ST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB. DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!

I admire people who fight. I mean seriously to put it all on the line like that. In the cage there are no lies, no hiding, it is the purist thing out there next to Brad and Angelina's marriage. There are certain things that man feel innate at being good at. Fighting is one of them, I have always found this humorous when someone says "He better walk away cause I would whoop his ass!". Now that I am more mature than my big toy brawling days, I know voicing your kimbo slice like street fighting skills is a cover for insecurity's (I.E Micheal Bisping. I love you Dan Henderson.) It was not until I trained in jiu jitsu, and muy thai, that I began to appreciate the art and the people who practise it.
I have been getting the question lately when am I going to fight? My answer is when my fat ass loses 20 pounds and gets some cardio. Truth is I am afraid to fight, because I am afraid I will like it. I have an addictive peronality, those who know me have seen traces of this disease. (I.E my colorful gi's, and endless jiu jitsu video library). I have been beginning to train with more of the experienced fighters at West Side Academy. Guys like "Punishing Pat" Ryan the go crazy on your ass Echols. Chris I am the most flexible muy thai instructor ever. And while I never get close to even touching these guys they humble me, and make me bleed. Well something weird happened the other day. Pat Reeves (who is 145 pounds on a day where he eats Beto's and doesn't take a shit) caught me with a wicked left hook that connected with my word hole. I started to taste blood in my mouth, and a little voice inside my head said "Do it again Pat I dare ya." Now I know some people that when they would realize they are bleeding call time and address the wound. Believe me there is no shame in that, but my sick ass subconscious liked it! After the round I was thinking of Forrest Griffen. Forrest gave an interview once, I think it was in MMA magazine I think? Anyways he said that he enjoyed being pummeled, that he fought better when he was wounded. I never understood that or anyone else who just liked to fight all the time, until now. It is the rush, the fact that you can take a hit and still stand, take a shot and stand up and keep going forward, must importantly it judges your character, because like the joker said "People near death show you who they really are" I am interested in my character, because I don't know. Will I be like Jose Cansaco and tap to punches after 4 seconds, or will I take it and laugh and say "do it again!" I just don't know. I do know however when I got my ass whooped in Jr. High for saying for smart ass shit like "Your Mom goes to college" I was more hell bent on getting revenge than focusing on my broken nose, and chipped tooth. So even though the past is not always a good indication of what will happen, I hope that spirit hasn't left me, because that would be some embarrassing shit if I just lied there on the mat crying in front of people. But on the bright side chicks might see the sensitive side of me.
So in summation will I fight? Not for awhile, I am a pride full man, and I have the bad habit of setting my video games to the easiest level so I can win. Yes I know that is childish but so what I like to win, it is the American way. For now I will just enjoy learning until I feel it is the right time. At least I know when it is time I will be ready.
I would like to give a shout out to Andre Galvao who was robbed in his decision in dream 10, and to Jack Black for making me laugh with his masterpiece Nacho Libre.
I'M OUT!!!!

My name is Miles and I am a meat head

DISCLAIMER!!!!! In no way shape or form do I consider myself a journalist so please excuse any misspellings or grammar errors. I mean come on i am just a dumb jock cut me some slack.

Jiu Jitsu is life. At least for me anyways. It has changed my life physically, mentally, and egoistically. I came from a meat head background, my resume includes power lifting, football, and Pro Wrestling (on the trampoline mostly). I thought meeting force with force was the only way to solve any problem. If there was lineman in front of me I would bull rush him, and let nature decide who was stronger. If there was an obstacle in my way while I was walking I would crush it with my hulk strength. And if there was another guy at the bar bigger than me, I would go outside and do push ups to get that Arnold like pump going. (okay not really but you get the point). It wasn't till I discovered jiu jitsu that life became a lot easier for me.
My first experience with jiu jitsu was a reality check for me. My little brother Joe was doing jiu jitsu at West Side. This place is cozy, I compare it to cheers because everybody knows everybody there. Mark Johnson (who is the owner) is a huge guy, I mean even with my meat head mentality at the time, I still wouldn't mess with this guy. He had a Grizzly Adams beard, and dread locks that reminded me of Eddie Gordo off Tekkan He is the epitome of a man and nicest guy you will ever meet. So... being the meat head I am I quickly size up the place, and minus Mark I am the biggest dude there. Mark invites me to join in on the session, I eagerly oblige, and let the fun begin. (I am going to steal from Quentin Tarantino and start from the end :) it adds more drama this way.)
TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!!!!!!! I am completely out of breath. I lay there defeated, but how could this be? I am 280 pounds of pure rage, and muscle, and this skinny blond hair kid just wiped the floor with me. (The skinny blond hair kid I speak of is Grayson Greener, looking at this kid you would think "what a wuss!!!" but he has some of the most technical jiu jitsu in the area.) The whole time I tried to maul Grayson, by using my weight lifting techniques, but none of it worked, he just tied me up like a pretzel and eventually arm bared me.
My ego was crushed!! So much for being a tommy tough guy. I wish had a montage of how West Side has changed me, because I am completely different person from two years ago. People always ask why I like it so much, and how I can wrestle with a bunch of guys all the time. To me its so simple and clear that I get frustrated that they can't see it. Its an art. I love to watch guys roll because I see art being created. I think that is why I love jiu jitsu so much. I have always had a craving to be an artist. Mostly I just wanted to draw cool shit like comic book characters. I took a few art classes in college and realized I suck at this, and no matter how much I practise I will never be good at it. Jiu jitsu fills that void for me, because although I am far from good, I do enjoy trying to paint a canvas every time I roll. Most importantly though it has taught me not to take everything in life head on like I used to. When life takes you down, put in your butterfly guard and sweep it. When you go for an arm bar from guard and can't get it, switch to an omoplata. This is why I appreciate Jiu jitsu so much, because no matter what kind of situation I am in, I always no there is a counter and an escape to it. Always!
So in conclusion I have created a test to see if you are a meat head and need to try jiu jitsu to enrich your life. These are simple yes or no questions, and don't cheat because you will only hurt yourself, and possibly go to hell depending on what religion you believe in.

1. Do you wear sleeveless underarmer to the gym?
2. When you fight do you get in to a pushing contest waiting for someone to break it up?
3. Do you wear super tight shirts and play stupid when women ask if you work out?
4. Does your diet consist of mostly protein bars or shakes?
5. Do you lift weights before going out on a Friday night to make you appear bigger than you are?
6. Do you look at yourself every time you pass a mirror?
7. Do you always look for smaller guys to intimidate?
8. When you lift do you lift as much as you can for 2-3 reps and admire your work in the mirror?
9. Do you freak out when missing a weight lifting session?
10. is Arnold Schwarzenegger your idol?

If you answered yes to any of these, than congratulations you are a meat head. To cure this disease I suggest jiu jitsu, because no matter how big you are, bones and egos break.
Thank you and good night!

Toilet Paper And Unwanted Advances

Okay lets first start off by saying, the following events are true. In no way, shape, or form do they represent the views and opinions of all Men just this one :). Okay so I admit it I'm bored, I live a very simple life. Very routine, but that is a good thing for me. All my friends are married, have kids, or are just to emotional damaged to go out anymore so I did what a bored Man is supposed to do. I got a night time job! Its not what you think, I'm not waiting tables, or working the graveyard shifts on the docks. I am bouncing at a bar. Look I understand what you are feeling and thinking right now, and the answer is no I did not watch road house and wanted to become a bouncer. I actually just fell into it. You see with my Chuck Norris like martial arts training a couple of guys at my work said I should do it, so I did!
Now the stereo typical bouncer is supposed to be big, (check) and he is supposed to have a tight shirt on (check) and he is supposed to suppress acts of violence on a drop of a dime (check), and he is supposed to replenish toilet paper. (wait what?) Ah yes the intricacy of bouncing. So here is the meat of the story. I get a tap on the shoulder from a women who says "There is no toilet paper in the Women's bathroom!" I looked at her with a confused look "Ahhh, you are going to have to tell the bartender I can't leave the backdoor." That set of a chain reaction of what it seamed like a never ending line of Women taping me on the shoulder "There is no toilet paper, there is no toilet paper, there is no toilet paper!" WAIT!!! THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM! And I have been touched by at least ten Women saying the exact phrase, which leads me to the conclusion of poor hygiene upkeep on there part! When I got a break from the rush of excited hormone induced people from the back door I checked the bathroom to find out that not only was there no toilet paper, but there was no paper towels either! UGHHH!!!!!! GROSSSS!!!!!!! Now I know what you are thinking. There is still the possibility of jean drying the hands, but for the sake of making the story more compelling and interesting I will say that I know for a fact that there was no jean dry! If that is not disgusting enough, I vividly watched those women group about a hand full of Men's faces with there dirty hands. So the ending of these ballad comes with all those Women who's faces are etched in my long term memory for the rest of my natural life, came up to me at the the end of the night stumbling and projecting what smelled like fruit and vomit, and said "give me a hug, cutie!" I said what any self respecting single man can "Don't touch me!" In conclusion make sure to keep the toilet seat down and tip your waitress.